Lost For Words
by On Angel's Wings
Summary: Everyone has a time in life...when they wish they didn't existed...when they wish their whole life was just a dream... SessKag InuKik RR NO FLAMES!


**A/N- WOAH!!! I haven't made story in a while...but, I'm back wit' a new one... SO, You know da' rules...R&R!  
  
DISCLAIMER- Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I don't own Inuyasha, AND NEITHER DO YOU!!!!!!!!!**  
  
WELL, now that THAT'S out of my system, let's get started, shall we !!!  
  
_**Lost For Words  
**_  
_Everyone has a time in life...when they wish they didn't existed...when they wish their whole life was just a dream...a night mare, to be exact...and when that dream ended...all their troubles with go away, just like them...So, why...why...am I any different from them? Why am I not allowed to become depressed and feel sorry for myself, can't I just for once, be able to live my life like the normal girl I am? But...there's nothing I can do about it...I'm their sweet Kagome, always there to lend a helping hand, never once thinking only about myself...They don't know...they will never know...who I truly am...they will never know...the Kagome they see is just a mask...a worn out, old mask...that's about to break...about to break into a million pieces...and that one day, the real Kagome will show...and they won't like her anymore...because she'll be different then how they want her to be...But...what if I were to tell you...somebody did see behind the mask...they saw...who I truly was...and took me for granted...they just used me to get what they wanted...and left me...  
_  
**_Journey's Beginning..._**  
  
I ran...I ran far, far away... I was betrayed...forgotten...by the one I love...my _FIRST_ love...he was with her again...I saw him...they haunt me...the remembrance of it all... _'Inuyasha...how could you...I love you...'_ Tears flooded my eyes, and my clothes tore as I raced threw the forest..._his_ forest...all I ever wanted was to be his... just like she is...  
  
_Flashback  
_  
_'Inuyasha...I love you...'_ Kikyo wrapped her arms around him, kissing him, loving him...I watched from behind a tree a little ways off... _'I love you...too... Kikyo...'_ I felt my heart snap in two, just like the twigs beneath my feet... _'And of my reincarnation?'_ Her hand ran down his spine, he shivered... _'I feel nothing...'_ His eyes were totally focused on her...and only her...his hands on her waist... _'Good boy, Inuyasha...I can love you better than she ever could...'_ No...she can't...I know she can't...she's incapable of love...she's dead...don't believe her...INUYASHA!   
  
_End  
_  
And that's where I am now...I'm so tired...but I can't stop...I won't stop...I have to go far away from him...very far...I'm scratched and bruised...my eyes red from crying, and my legs sore for running...I don't care...nobody does...  
  
I finally stopped by a lake...I had no clue how far I had gone, or how long I'd been running...I washed my face in the river, no longer being able to tell my tears from the water running down my face, now I know...why people who become heart broken act the way they do...now I know what it feels like, it's not me comforting one of my friends, after a break up anymore...it's different...it's me...I'M the one suffering this time, I'M the one heart broken, I'M the one that needs comfort. I wish...for once...someone would comfort me, someone would tell me everything would be all right...  
  
I stood from my position by the lake, and walked to a tree...I laid my head on the rough bark...feeling every crack, every lump...and before I could figure out what I was doing, I was hitting it, punching it with all my might, my fist now becoming bloody, my knuckles white. I turned my back towards the tree and slid down till I was sitting on the dirt floor, my arms wrapped around my legs, my head pulled down to rest on them.   
  
I thought about what I had witnessed...about what I had saw...the look in his eyes...it was pure contentment...  
  
But then...it dawned on me... _'He never loved me...'_ All those times he saved me, he wasn't thinking about me he was thinking about the Kikyo he saw in me. Did I really mean so little to him? He knew I loved him...he knew what my feelings were...and he took them for granted, he used me, pretending that he cared, that he loved me, so that I'd stay with him, so that I'd continue to find the shikon shards for him...I suppose he thought better of it, and decided Kikyo would do a better job, is she really...all that greater that me...is she really...worth so much more? In his eyes, yes...She will probably join the group now, and I will be forgotten...Sango will have a better friend that me, and Miroku will take join in groping her, and Shippou...Shippou will have a better mom...  
  
Maybe it was for the better that I left...maybe I should leave for good...it will be best...for all of them... It will be best...for him...and...for...her...  
  
I rose to my feet, and looked back from the direction in which I had come, I'd have to go back eventually anyway...I need to get my belongings...and head home, for good. They can defeat Naraku without me. It... might even be better for them. I started walking back into the forest...my destination set, and my emotions ready for anything. I was leaving the Sengoku Jidai forever. And as soon as I cross over, I will seal the well.  
  
I had reached Kaede's village in about four hours. My trek was a short one; I hadn't gone as far as I originally thought. By the time I got there, everyone was asleep....  
  
Everyone but him of course.  
  
"KAGOME, where have you been, you wench?!" He jumped down from a nearby tree and stood in front of me. "Are you really that stupid to go out like that, at NIGHT none the less? What if you had gotten in trouble? What if some youkai had attacked? I wouldn't have been able to hear you!"  
  
I look at him, my eyes blank. "You wouldn't have heard me either way, you were to busy even notice I was right in front of you all along..." I felt the tears well up inside again, and ran into the hut before he could see.  
  
"You...saw..." I watched from inside the hut, you were surprised...obviously you had not known I was there... You clenched your fist before letting them fall back to your sides, and fell to your knees.   
  
"You never cared, Inuyasha. Never cared about me, or my feelings for you..." I knew you heard, cause as soon as I said it, your hands went up to your face, and for the first time...  
  
_I watched you cry...  
_  
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Yes, yes...I know it's short...doesn't bother me, though... I'll try to make it a little longer next time. Please no flames, or anything close to it...creative criticism is advised, though.   
  
TILL NEXT CHAPTER!!!  
  
R&R!!!


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